We're in this til the End
by AvengerMags
Summary: This is my take on what happened to Shepard, Garrus, and the rest of the crew after Mass Effect 3. Post-destroy. The Reaper war may be over, but the galaxy is a long way from peace. However, now, they all have a chance at a happy ending, a ending that they all deserve.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first attempt at FanFiction, and I hope you guys enjoy it. :D This is my take on what happened after Mass Effect 3 ended. While most of it will be centered around Shepard and Garrus, many of the other characters will be present as well. Thanks for taking the time to read it and review if you'd like!

Also, everything from the Mass Effect Universe belongs to Bioware! I own nothing.

Shepard Info: Vanguard, Colonist, Sole Survivor, Mostly Paragon. Romance: Garrus.

We're in this til the End

Chapter One

(Normandy SR2 One Week after the Reapers were destroyed)

"I should've gone with her."

This thought had echoed in his mind for a week now, haunting and tormenting him.

Garrus Vakarian was sitting on his bed in the main battery of the Normandy as the memory of that fateful day replayed itself again. He could remember every detail.

_He, Shepard, and Liara were making a run for the beam leading to the Citadel. It was chaos. Dead and injured soldiers lied everywhere along with Reaper corpses. Husks and Marauders were running out and attacking anything still alive. Then there was the Harbinger's beam, destroying everything in its path. They had been doing well considering the circumstances. That all ended when the beam hit the Mako though. Before he could even to attempt to get out of the way, the impact of its explosion had knocked him down injuring one of his legs. Shepard helped him up and called the evac without a second thought. She was always so calm and resourceful on the battlefield even when the world was literally going to hell. _

Garrus silently cursed his mind for making himself relive this again, but it didn't matter. The memory would continue like it always did.

_When they arrived at the Normandy, Shepard quickly handed him over to Liara who had avoided an injury from the Mako's destruction. That was when he realized Shepard wasn't going with them. _

_"Shepard," he began. _

_He had to convince her to let him stay. He couldn't leave her, not right now and not ever. _

_"You gotta get out of here," she said calmly as she slowly walked down the ramp. _

_"And you've gotta be kidding me," he countered back._

_After all they had been through, there was no way he was going to let her do this without him. _

_"Don't argue, Garrus."_

_There was finality in her voice that he knew all too well. He had been in enough battles with her to know when Shepard had made her choice._

_"We're in this til the end."_

_But he wasn't going to let her go that easily. He couldn't, and Shepard knew it. She knew exactly what to say. She walked back up the ramp, looked him in the eyes, and said,_

_"No matter what happens here, you know I love you, I always will."_

_Her voice almost broke when those words came out. He could still remember the look in her brown eyes. It was a mixture of love and sadness, like she knew that it would be the end. _

_"Shepard I… love you too."_

_And he let her go and watched her run down the ramp toward the beam. _

That was the first time. The first time he had told her he loved her. He had loved her long before that moment, but he had always held back, for reasons that seemed trivial now. Regardless, he was pretty sure he'd never get another chance to say it, and that filled him with even more regret.

"Damn it," he said quietly.

It was the third time he had relived that memory today and probably the thousandth time since the reapers had been destroyed. It wouldn't leave him alone.

He continued to sit on his bed lost in thought.

The reapers were destroyed, completely destroyed. Even though it happened a week ago, Garrus couldn't help still marveling at the thought. Of course there was a great amount of reconstruction to be done, and there were still a few things that were still unexplained. After the Crucible had been activated, EDI went offline and was unresponsive. The same thing happened with the Geth. So far, no one really knew why. But regardless, Shepard had united the galaxy, and together, it was enough to send the Reapers straight to hell.

His thoughts then shifted, like they usually did, to that woman and their time together.

Maggie Shepard. The love of his life. If you had asked him years ago, that he would fall in love with a human, a human with stubbornness and a temper to match his own, he would've scoffed and called you insane. But that's exactly what happened, and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

She was the most amazing and frustrating woman he had ever met and ever would meet he was sure. She was a warrior, capable and dangerous on the battlefield and could bark out orders more effectively than any Turian general he'd seen. She also had this gift that could bring people together. He couldn't explain it, but the intense loyalty of the crew was enough proof of that. She was stubborn and never took the easy way out of a situation, and that usually meant more interesting missions for him and the rest of the Normandy's crew. She did everything she could do to achieve the most good. But what he loved most about her was the person behind the mask of Commander Shepard, the vulnerable side that she kept hidden from everyone else. He was amazed and honored every time she took her walls down in front of him. He knew how hard it was for her, and she only did it for him and him alone.

His thoughts were then interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Garrus, Garrus, may I come in?"

Garrus sighed. It was Liara. No doubt she was coming to check on him, but he didn't want company. He wanted to be alone. Everyone on the ship was just a reminder of what had happened, what had been lost, and he didn't want to face any of them right now.

"Leave me alone Liara, I've got calibrations to do," he shouted back through the door.

"Garrus, if you don't let me in this door, I'll just get Glyph to bypass it. You have to talk to someone sooner or later!"

"Fine, give me a second."

He slowly got up from his bed, all thanks to the annoying cast on his leg.

"Ugh," he thought as he limped over to the door controls. Since becoming the Shadow Broker, Liara had become much more determined and outspoken, and while most of the time Garrus thought this was a great thing, right now, he was beyond annoyed.

"There, now you're in. What do you want?" he said with a bit more malice than he intended.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing and talk to you. You've barely left the main battery since everything happened. It's not good for you to stay in one place like this. I am worried about you."

"I appreciate your concern Liara, but I don't want to talk."

"But you need to talk."

"No I don't. Not to you and not to anyone."

"Garrus, did it ever occur to you that you aren't the only one who misses Shepard. We all were close to her, and we all are hurt after losing her. We—"

"We haven't lost her," he interrupted. "The Alliance declared her MIA just a few days ago. She could still be out there."

Liara had to admit that she didn't see that coming from Garrus. He was always so objective and realistic about everything: the Reapers, battlefield tactics, politics, anything. She assumed he would've accepted Shepard's death by now.

"Oh, so that is what this is all about."

"What do you mean?"

"You believe that Shepard is still alive."

"And you don't, Liara?" he questioned her with scrutiny.

Of course she wanted to believe Shepard was alive, but if the Reaper war had taught Liara anything, it was that there were always casualties. She couldn't help thinking that they really had lost the Commander this time, even though it broke her heart.

"Garrus, believe me, I want to, but it has been a week since the Crucible was activated and the Reapers were destroyed. Don't you think they would have found her by now? And could she even survive on her own for a while if they haven't yet?"

"I—I don't know Liara, but she's Shepard. She's defied odds before. You know that as well as I do."

Garrus knew that his hopes were probably in vain, that Shepard probably died after activating the Crucible on the Citadel. Hackett informed them that was the last place he made contact with her, and after all the time that had passed, it certainly didn't look good, but it was too soon, far too soon for him to accept that he lost the love of his life. He wasn't going to do that yet. Hell, he couldn't do it.

"I just know that I can't accept that she's dead. Not yet," he added.

Then Liara understood. She knew Shepard and Garrus were in love, and she should've realized that all of Garrus' realism and logic went out the window when Shepard was involved.

"I understand Garrus. I do not wish to accept it either, but I fear it may be inevitable."

"Yeah it might be. Liara, I'm sorry for being rude to you earlier. I just wanted to be alone, so I could come to terms with everything, although I'm not really having much success with that."

"It is quite alright Garrus. I understand. It's got to be hard on you, and I know your busy communicating with the Primarch about Palaven's reconstruction a lot of the time. But I think maybe you would feel better if you left this room for a while. Sometimes being alone with your thoughts can be the most painful thing."

"Yeah. You're definitely right about that."

"Yes I know. I know that from experience. After Thessia fell, well, it was hard not to dwell on it."

"I'm sorry Liara."

There was a silence between the two before Liara spoke again.

"But there was another reason that I wanted to talk to you today."

"Alright."

"The crew is having a small service at the Memorial Wall this evening. We are going to spend some time remember those we've lost throughout these past few years. The rest of the crew, well, they wanted me to ask you if you would want to come. I think all of them want to see you, and I think you should go.

"Okay, I'll go. What time?"

"What? That's not the answer I was expecting."

"If being there will help the crew, then I'll do it. Liara, you were right. I was being selfish. I know I'm not the only one who misses Shepard. Everyone on this damn ship does, and they're still doing their jobs instead of hiding away in the Main Battery. I really haven't helped you guys much in the past week. That's going to change."

"I'm glad to hear that Garrus. Thank you. It starts at 7 p.m."

"To be honest, I thought it would be much harder to convince you to come to the service," she added in a lighter tone.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, it appears the great Archangel is getting soft," she teased. "I didn't even have to use some of my Intel I found of you trying to seduce a Hanar in Chora's Den when you were still with C-Sec as blackmail."

"That? That was recorded? You wouldn't dare," Garrus sputtered.

That night occurred a long time ago. Curse those strong, Batarian drinks.

"I certainly do," Liara said with a laugh, and Garrus couldn't help but laugh too.

"Being the Shadow Broker has made you cruel T'Soni."

They both continued to laugh for a little while, and Garrus had to admit that it felt nice to forget the pain he felt, even for just a moment.

"Well I suppose I should return to my quarters. I've got some work left to do before the service tonight."

"Okay, I'll see you then. And Liara?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you, you know, for everything."

"You're welcome Garrus."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks so much for your feedback, follows, and favorites guys! I appreciate it! :D Hope you enjoy the next chapter!

Chapter 2

(Somewhere on the Citadel 6 days earlier)

"I feel like we've been searching through this same pile of rubble for hours Grif."

"Quit complaining Walden. You heard the Sarge's orders," Corporal Griffith said. "We have to search this area for survivors."

"I know, I know. But can we at least take a break and sit for a moment?" asked Walden.

"I guess so but only for a minute."

The two Alliance Marines found a place to sit in the rubble. The Crucible had destroyed the Reapers just yesterday, and reconstruction efforts had already begun. A large bulk of the Alliance units were ordered to search for survivors and get them medical care as soon as possible.

Walden observed the area around them. They were on the Citadel, or what was left of it. It had taken an extreme amount of damage from the Crucible. What used to be buildings was replaced with large piles of debris and scorched metal. It was going to take a long time to rebuild.

"Damn, there's just so much damage. Grif, I still can't believe we beat those things. I really thought we were goners."

"I know Walden. Believe me. But we pulled it off. It took the entire galaxy, but it worked. It really worked."

"It sure did. I'll never forget that image, just seeing the Reapers get decimated. They finally got what they deserved." Walden said bitterly.

"Yes they did but at a price. Do you even know how many we lost Walden?" Griffith asked.

"Not a clue. I don't really want to think about it."

"Me neither."

Then he saw something move slightly in the corner of his eye. Corporal Griffith suddenly ran towards the moving rubble.

"What are you doing Grif?"

"I saw something move over there."

"Well what is it?"

"I don't know. It's underneath the rubble. We need to check it out. What if someone is trapped under there?"

He and Walden began to dig. After a minute or so, they found the source of the movement. It was a woman, a soldier, and she looked beat to hell. Her armor was scorched. She had several cuts, bruises, and burns, and that was just the exterior damage. It was a miracle she was still breathing. Griffith checked her pulse. It was weak. She didn't have a lot of time.

"Walden call for some transport, we've got to get this woman out of here. She isn't going to make it long without some advanced medical care."

"Definitely." Walden said. Then he pulled out his radio.

Griffith continued to look at the woman. She was injured beyond recognition, but some part of her looked familiar to him. He wasn't sure why she did, but it led him to check for her dog tags. When he found them, his jaw dropped.

"Walden, you're not going to believe this."

"Grif can't you see I'm talking over here. Shut up. I'm trying to get us help."

"Get over here, you've got to see this."

"What is it?!"

When Walden made it back over to Griffith his jaw dropped too.

"Holy shit Grif. We just found Commander Shepard."

(Back on the Normandy, a week after the Reapers were destroyed)

"This looks ridiculous," Garrus thought as he smoothed out the wrinkles of his suit.

He was getting ready to attend the Memorial Service Liara had told him about earlier, and he decided to dress up. It seemed like the appropriate thing to do. However, he had forgotten how frustrating nice clothes were. He couldn't remember the last time he had worn something other than his armor, and now he remembered why. It had taken him 10 minutes to get his suit presentable which was 9 minutes longer than it should've taken. He glanced in the mirror one last time and ran his talons along the scars on the side of his face. They had faded a lot since he acquired them a long time ago. He and Shepard had a running joke that his scars were the only reason she was attracted to him. It was completely false, but he still loved to tease her about it. This caused him to remember the first time she ever touched his scars. He began to smile at the memory.

_It was his first night on the SR2. He woke up in the middle of the night and felt wet blood on his face. His cuts had started bleeding again. _

_"Damn it," he thought._

_He went to the med bay to replace the bandages. There was no reason to wake Dr. Chakwas for this. He would do it himself. The task proved to be more challenging than he thought though. Taking off the soaked bandages hurt like hell, and he couldn't seem to get the new ones to stay on right. After a good 10 minutes of struggling, he heard someone else walk in. _

_"Garrus? What the hell are you doing?"_

_It was Shepard. She was giving him a puzzled look. No doubt the scene in front of her looked odd. He had blood on his hands and there were ruined bandages strewn all over the floor. _

_ "I'm trying to replace these damn bandages Shepard, and they won't stay on," Garrus said loudly and then sighed. "It's made a huge mess too."_

_"Here, let me help you. We need to stop the bleeding."_

_Shepard made her way to Garrus. She picked up a towel and began to wipe his face off with it. Garrus was surprised at how tenderly she touched him. For someone who spent most her time in battle, it was very gentle and careful. He also noticed how his pulse began to quicken when she touched him. He felt his face heat up. _

_"What's going on with me?" he thought. "Shepard is my best friend."_

_He had never felt this way with her before, but then again, she had never touched him like this. He wasn't sure what to do. These new feelings bothered him, and he hoped Shepard wouldn't notice._

_"Well all the blood's cleaned up now. That rocket is going to leave you with some nasty scars. But like you said, now you won't have any trouble picking up some Krogan women. If we go to Tuchanka anytime soon, you'll have to try it out," Shepard said with a smirk. _

_Garrus was relieved she was joking with him, and he regained his composure. _

_"Yeah that's not going to happen. I'm not that desperate," Garrus said as he tried not to laugh._

_But it didn't work. He and Shepard looked at each other for a moment, and then they both started cracking up. After the laughter stopped, Shepard's expression and tone turned serious, and her eyes looked sad. _

_"I know I've said this already Garrus, but I'm glad you're okay. You're injuries could've been a lot worse."_

_Garrus felt his face heat up again. She was truly concerned for him. It wasn't that he was surprised at this. They were best friends, but it felt different now, like it was something more than that._

_"I know. I got lucky, in more ways than one. If you hadn't shown up when you did Shepard, I don't know what would've happened."_

_"Don't mention it. I'll just have to add it to the list of how many times I've had to save your ass," she said smiling. "It's getting pretty long."_

_"Yeah it's almost as long as the list of how many times I've had to save yours. You know there are other ways of killing people other than charging head first into them," he countered back, teasing her. _

_"Hey, those biotic charges have gotten us out of a lot binds. You can't deny that," she said jokingly. _

_"Yeah I guess they have. It's good to be back Shepard. I missed being on the Normandy, and I missed you."_

_By this time, Shepard had replaced the bandages on Garrus's face, but she placed her hand back on his face tenderly and looked him in the eyes. _

_"I missed you too Garrus. Lately, I've felt that I can't really trust anyone on this ship, excluding Joker of course, but he's busy fighting with the new AI. I trusted you more than anyone on the SR1, and I'm glad you're back." _

_Garrus put his hand over her's on his face and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She looked almost vulnerable, and he had to let her know he would be by her side. _

_ "Shepard, I'm here for you, and I'll do whatever you need."_

_There was a moment of comfortable silence between them as they looked in each other eyes._

_"Oh and thanks for bandaging up my bloody face," Garrus added._

_Shepard smiled. _

_"Anytime, I'll see you in the morning Garrus."_

_"Goodnight Shepard."_

That was the first time he realized his feelings for Shepard were more than friendly. When she touched him, he knew it was something much more. Of course it took both of them a while to admit how they felt to each other. They both had their doubts about a relationship between different species, and their first romantic encounters were awkward to say the least. But they became everything to each other, and their relationship had grown into something that both of them cherished. Garrus only wished she was here with him now that the Reapers were defeated, so they could have more moments filled with joy instead of worry.

He took a deep breath and left the Main Battery. Most of the crew had gathered on the 3rd floor for the service.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks again for your reviews, favs, and follows. This chapter is a little short compared to the others, but the next one will make up for it I promise. Enjoy!

Chapter 3

Garrus made his way over to the Memorial Wall slowly. There was still a few minutes before the service would start. He wasn't excited about it. It was going to be sad; there would be tears, and he wasn't the best at comforting people. Put him in a battle with Reapers, Geth, and Cerberus? It was no big deal, but crying, yeah, that made him uneasy. He went over to lean against the wall of the Med Bay. It wasn't long until Kaidan walked up to lean beside him.

"Hey Garrus," Kaidan said.

"Hey," Garrus replied.

That was all they said for a few moments. Kaidan didn't break the silence. He and Garrus had been close friends since serving together on the SR1, and he knew Garrus would talk when he was ready. He could tell Shepard's disappearance was weighing heavily on the Turian. It was weighing on the entire crew, but it was worse for Garrus. Kaidan knew he loved Shepard more than anything. He stood there a moment longer before Garrus started speaking.

"Listen, Kaidan, I know I haven't exactly been present with the crew for the past week. I was wondering if you could fill me in on what's going on. Has anything changed?"

Garrus felt awkward asking this, but he had cut himself off from everyone excluding the Primarch regarding Palavan, and he only listened to that because the Primarch needed his help desperately.

"Not much has changed really," Kaidan began. We still have the same orders: travel to Earth, dock the Normandy in Vancouver and await further orders from the Alliance. Of course, you, Liara, Tali, and Javik can go where you need to once we get to Earth. There have been a lot of news reports. Most of them are just detailing the destruction everywhere. There are a few with people speculating how the Geth went offline, but no one's managed to find anything concrete. So really you haven't missed much."

"Oh alright then. And how are you and the crew doing? I'm sure becoming the new CO of the Normandy is taking its toll."

"I'm okay, and the crew is okay too I suppose. We're all dealing with our losses as best we can. It's hard. We have a mission, but our thoughts are on other things and other people. I almost feel like it was easier to concentrate on our goal when it was destroying the Reapers. It was simple. We had to defeat them, but now, the goal isn't so simple. We have to rebuild and heal, and that's going to take a lot of time."

"Yeah. It is. The war may be over, but we're a long way from peace."

"Damn straight. So how are you Garrus?" Kaidan asked.

He turned to face him and looked in his eyes seriously.

"And don't give me any bullshit," he added giving him a small smile.

Garrus sighed. He knew he had to be honest with Kaidan. He respected him too much to lie.

"I'm—I'm dealing Kaidan. I guess conflicted may be a better word. I'm torn. The logical side of me is telling me to let go, to accept that Shepard is dead and move on because more than likely that's what happened. But there's another part of me that's begging not to lose hope that she's alive. That part of me believes she's out there somewhere, and that there's still a chance we'll have a future together. Am I crazy for thinking that? I don't know what to do. I need to focus on helping everyone: you, the crew, everyone on Palavan, but I can't stop thinking about her."

"You know someone told me once 'There's always hope. It's how we got this far.'"

Kaidan smiled and then looked at Garrus who returned it. They both knew who had said those words. Kaidan then put his hand on Garrus's shoulder.

"She did say that. Didn't she?" Garrus said.

"Garrus, I don't think it's crazy of you to hope that Shepard's alive," added Kaidan. "We all have to have something to hope for. It's what keeps us going."

"Yeah I guess you're right."

"I know I am on this one. Sometimes hope is all we have left. Don't you dare give up on her."

"I won't. Thanks Kaidan."

"It's no problem Garrus. Well, it's about time to get this service started. You ready?"

"Yeah let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hi everyone! Here's the next chapter. It was one of the harder ones for me to write, but I really think you'll enjoy it. Thanks again for reading, and I want to give a special thank you to ela11 for your lovely reviews. I really appreciate them! Also, one final thing. Unfortunately, school is starting back up for me tomorrow, and I won't be able to update as frequently. I want you all to know that this story and its characters are near and dear to my heart, and I will update when I can, so just be patient with me. :D Anyways, happy reading!

Chapter 4

Everyone made his or her way over to the Memorial Wall. Kaidan and Liara went forward to stand in front of it facing the crew, and then Kaidan began to speak.

"We've come here today to remember those we've lost in the war against the Reapers. This war was unlike anything we've ever experienced before. The Reapers were a ruthless enemy and destroyed our homes and our people. They tested our military strength, our intelligence, and our resolve, but we won. The entire galaxy came together, and we defeated them, but we can't forget those who gave their lives to make sure we made it this far. The names on this wall tell of those who sacrificed themselves."

"Kaidan and I thought it would be a good idea to go down the names of this wall and allow everyone to speak about those who have died. You can talk about a memory you had with them or why they were special to you, whatever you need to say," Liara added.

"I'll start," Kaidan said. "The first person we lost in this conflict was a young man named Corporal Jenkins. He was a fairly new but talented soldier placed on the SR1. Many of you here didn't know him, but you should know that he was eager marine who was determined to make a difference. He died on the first mission to Eden Prime when it was attacked by the Geth. This planet was also his home world, and he should be remembered for his sacrifice to protect it from harm."

"The next person we lost was rather close to me," Kaidan said as his voice cracked. "Her name was Ashley Williams. She was a soldier through and through and although it was in her blood, her talent and resilience set her apart. After rescuing her from Eden Prime, she became like a sister to me. We would joke around, get drinks together; if I was feeling down, she would tell me to lighten up and crack jokes until I smiled. She died on Virmire. Shepard had to make a choice to save Ashley or me, and she chose me. Ashley supported her choice and went down fighting. I think about that moment every day. Ashley died so that I could be saved. I'll never forget her, and someday, I hope I can make it up to her."

Kaidan then regained his composure. Talking about Ash was hard still to this day, but he still had one more person to speak about.

"The last person we lost on the SR1 was Navigator Pressley. He was an excellent Navigator with more experience than some men in the military could ever hope to have. He died when the Collectors attacked the Normandy. At first, Pressley was uneasy about having aliens on the ship, but later on, he saw the great effects galactic cooperation. He realized just as we all have that different species working together is the best and most effective way to achieve success, and he would proud to see what we have accomplished in our fight against the Reapers."

The entire ship was quiet after Kaidan finished speaking. He began to worry that no one else was going to speak up. Then Engineer Donnelly stepped forward and started talking.

"The Collectors also took someone precious to me. After they abducted us from the Normandy, we were all scared. Dr. Chakwas could testify to that as well, and while we made it out alive, Gabriella Daniels did not. She was my best friend, partner in crime, and the most talented engineer I've ever met. We were a team, and I loved her. I never made my feelings known to her, and now, I've lost the chance. I just hope that she's hearing this right now and that one day, I will get to see her again."

After hearing Donnelly's confession, many members of the crew raised their hands. They all wanted to share.

"Mordin Solus was a doctor just like me and although I wasn't with him on the Normandy for a long time, I grew to cherish the moments I had with him," Liara said. "He was extremely intelligent and as you all know, loved to sing. While working with him was quite entertaining, I also noticed a sad side to him. I believe he felt guilty about his actions in the past. However, we know now that he died fixing the mistakes he had made. He was one of the bravest people I've ever met, and he and his actions will always be remembered."

"Along with his vocal skills," Joker added.

Everyone started laughing. Although his death was still weighing on everyone, Mordin would always bring humor to those on the Normandy.

"Thane Krios wasn't your typical assassin," Garrus began. "I'm not saying he wasn't deadly in a fight. I pity any enemy affected by his Reave, but his heart is what truly defined him. Like Mordin, he sought to redeem himself of the actions of his past. He had lost his wife and was living with a terrible disease when I first met him, but these didn't stop him from doing what was right. He helped us with the Collectors, reconciled with his son, and gave Kai Leng a fight to remember. He persevered and fought to the very end for a cause that he believed in. Wherever he is now, I hope he is at peace. He deserves it more than most."

"Ever since I was born I was taught that the Geth were an enemy. They had taken our home world away and forced my people to live a life solely on ships. But after meeting and knowing Legion, my views are much different now. Legion proved to me that the Geth were capable of so much more than I ever thought. They are more than machines and tools to make our lives easier. I don't know why the Geth went offline after the Reapers were destroyed, but I do know now that all synthetic life that will exist after this must be treated better. They, like us, have souls," Tali said.

"Military life was always something I wanted to do," James began. "So when I was younger, I looked up to the war heroes of that time. Admiral David Anderson was just that. I'm not going to stand here and list all of his accomplishments because most of you already know what he's done. I want to talk about the kind of man he was. In the short time I served with Anderson, he was a mentor to me. He was strict, but kind and only wanted the very best I could offer. That made me respect him even more. He, like all of us, recognized the threat the Reapers posed, and he was brave enough to stay on Earth and make sure we had something left to save when we came back. His sacrifice will not be forgotten. He is a man whose memory is worth respecting, remembering, and most of all honoring."

Liara walked up to James and handed him a name plate with Anderson's name. He walked up to the wall and hung it with the others. Everyone was silent. It seemed like they all had said what they needed to say.

Then, Liara pulled out another name plate and began to speak.

"Commander Shepard was born on Mindior but never let what happened there define her. The Commander was also a powerful biotic, nearly unstoppable when she charged into a fight. She was a soldier and a leader, one who made peace when she could. And it was a privilege to know her."

She then looked up, faced the crew and asked, "Who was Shepard to you?"

"She was Lola, and the greatest damn marine I've ever known," said James.

"A rock to lean on when I was struggling," Steve added.

"The bravest woman I have ever met," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Keelah Se'lai," said Tali.

"A CO that made this ship feel like home," Samantha said.

"The exemplar of victory," Javik said.

"A leader worth following to the edges of hell," Engineers Adams and Donnelly said together.

"Someone who listened, cared, and tried her hardest not to laugh at my jokes," Joker said.

"A friend and a survivor of things great, small, and everything in between," said Kaidan.

"The love of my life and an inspiration to us all," said Garrus.

He was the last to speak, and Liara stepped over to him and handed him the name plate.

"Out of all of us, Garrus, you should be the one to hang this," she said.

Garrus stared at it for a moment. He looked at Shepard's name engraved on the plate, and then he looked up.  
There was no way he could do it. Putting that plate on the wall symbolized Shepard's death, a death he was not willing to accept. He stood there and felt everyone's eyes on him for a few moments. Then Traynor's omni-tool went off.

"I'm sorry everyone. It's a message from Admiral Hackett. He says it's urgent," Samantha said.

"Patch him through," Kaidan said.

Everyone huddled around Traynor's omni-tool as the Admiral's face became present.

"Major? Are you there?" he asked.

"Yes sir, I'm here," Kaidan responded.

"Good, I need you to assemble the crew. I've just received urgent news that you all need to hear."

"The gang's all here Admiral. What is it?"

"Well about six days ago, after the Reapers were destroyed, two Alliance marines were searching the Citadel remains for survivors. They came across someone, and that someone was Commander Shepard. She's still alive. In critical condition, but still alive."

Garrus stood there in shock. He lost his grip on Shepard's nameplate, and it fell to the floor. Shepard was alive? Even with all his hope, he still believed it was unlikely. His thoughts were interrupted by James.

"She was found six days ago? Why didn't you tell us before then?!" James asked loudly.

"I wasn't aware of this until earlier today LT. Communications have been slowly coming back on, but it's taking a while. I received the news just an hour ago," Hackett said.

"What happened to her after she was found?" Liara asked.

"The Marines took her back to their camp and got her immediate transport to the closest Alliance hospital on Earth. It's located right outside of London. She's been on an operating table since they found her, and they still have more to do."

"Damn," Garrus thought. It didn't sound good. What if she lived to only die a few days later in the hospital? He had to know how bad this was.

"Admiral, is she going to live through this?" Garrus asked.

"I won't lie to you Garrus," Hackett began. "Her condition doesn't look good, but we all know Shepard's beaten the odds countless times, and this is no different."

"Admiral, if I may request it, could our orders be changed?" Kaidan asked. "If Shepard is alive, then I know myself and the entire crew would like to see her."

"I don't see why that would be a problem Major. I can see to it that the Normandy will be able to dock in London instead of Vancouver. After everything you all have done for the galaxy, you deserve to see Shepard for a while."

"Thank you Admiral," Kaidan replied.

"You're welcome. I'll send you the coordinates to the hospital. Hackett out."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been a couple of days since I've updated. School is now in full swing, and most of my time is spent in class or working on homework. This chapter is a bit short, but I needed to get it done before I move on with the rest of the story. As always, I appreciate you all taking the time to read my work. It really means a lot!

Chapter 5

The walk from the landing pad to the hospital wasn't a long one, but Garrus sure felt like it was.

The Normandy had docked outside of London just a few minutes ago, and he had wasted no time finding out where Shepard was and getting to her as quickly as he could.

He had to see her. It had been two days since the Memorial Service, two long days of waiting. Hackett had given the crew regular updates on Shepard's progress since then. She was out of surgery now, and everything seemed to be okay; her vitals were strong; her injuries were healing at a nice pace, except that she hadn't regained consciousness, and the doctors didn't know why.

After what seemed like a lifetime of walking through endless corridors that smelled like sanitizer, Garrus reached the door to Shepard's room. He tried to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to see, but once he entered the room, he realized his efforts were in vain.

His heart sank when he saw her. It was bad, really bad. Garrus had seen Shepard injured several times before, but nothing compared to this. She was in a bed near the middle of the room. Bandages covered her body almost completely, and she had at least ten tubes attached to her. The only part of her skin that was visible was her face, and it sported two black eyes and several scrapes.

Garrus slowly walked toward her. He was extremely grateful the crew had decided to give him some privacy before seeing Shepard themselves. There was something he needed to do.

"Shepard," he began. "I know that you probably can't hear me right now, but there are some things I need to say, things that just can't wait."

He started to pace around the room.

"You know you did it right? You defeated the Reapers. They're really gone. I know if you were awake right now you'd tell me that we did it. 'We' meaning the galaxy and the crew, but honestly Shepard, none of this would've been possible without you. It's all thanks to you that we're alive."

He continued to walk around.

"You'd be happy to know the crew survived too. Despite fighting countless Reapers, evacuating after the Crucible detonated, and crash landing on a random planet, we're all okay, or at least as okay as we can be."

He moved closer to her and put his hand on her face.

"And you survived too Shepard; despite everything that happened, you survived," he said as his voice cracked. "You just need to wake up!"

He removed his hand from her face and started to walk around again. He was angry, so angry at this situation. He had felt so much hope when he heard Shepard was alive, but now, seeing her like this, and knowing she might not wake up, it was like he was going to lose her again.

"Damn it Shepard! You can't do this. You can't survive everything the Reapers put you through just to die in a hospital when the war ends. You just can't!" he shouted.

He heard his voice echo in the room. Then it was quiet. He slowly made his way back over to Shepard and sat in the chair next to her bed.

"I—I can't..I can't do this without you," he said softly. "Those words you said, 'no Shepard without Vakarian'; I took those to heart. I don't know what I'm going to do if you don't wake up Shepard."

He put his head in his hands as he began to feel water come out of his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he cried like this. He never cried, not when Palavan was getting decimated or when his entire squad died on Omega, but the possibility of losing Shepard now made all of his strength crumble.

He lifted up his face and took Shepard's bandaged hand.

"You have to wake up from this Shepard. Not because the galaxy needs you, not because the Alliance needs you, and not even because the crew needs you, but because I need you. I love you Shepard, and I want to get the chance to say it to you again when you're not running towards chaos or lying unconscious in a hospital bed. I want to say it to you when we're in bed together after a night of making love. I want to say it to you when we have children of our own. I want to say it to you when we're both old and living somewhere warm and tropical, so please Shepard give me that chance. Give me the chance to say it to you again. Please, please wake up."

Garrus glanced over at the heart monitor to Shepard's left. There was a steady beat. Nothing had changed, and then he felt something squeeze his hand.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey everyone! I know it's been a little while since I've updated, so I hope all of you are doing great! Here's the latest chapter. As always, thank you all for your feedback, favs, and follows. I am so grateful for them. Happy reading!

It all came back in flashbacks.

_Shepard was living through the battle for Earth all over again. Her feet felt the impact from hitting the ground when she jumped from the shuttle. She heard the Reaper's ammunition buzz by her in every direction, and she heard the Banshees' cries. She smelt death and smoke everywhere, and her eyes, her eyes couldn't possibly process all of the destruction that was around her. _

_She felt the weight of her gun and the heat of her biotics as she crushed enemy after enemy._

_Then every crew member's face flashed through her mind. All of the words said between her and them were repeated. Every encouraging word, every pat on the shoulder, and every farewell, although, one goodbye stood out in particular. _

_"Shepard. So, I guess this is. . ." Garrus began._

_Then he paused._

_"Just like old times?" Shepard replied._

_She knew what Garrus expected her to say, that this was "goodbye". But she couldn't say it. She knew this mission carried incredible risk, but facing the possibility that this was the last conversation she'd have with Garrus was just something she couldn't do. _

_"Hmm. Might be the last chance we get to say that."_

_"Think we're going to lose?"_

_"No," he said seriously. "I think we're about to kick the Reapers back to whatever black hole they crawled out of. Then we're going to retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids. Maybe even find out what a Turian-human baby looks like."_

_Shepard smiled, and Garrus returned it. Settling down and having kids was a future she'd never thought she'd have. It would probably drive her crazy but being with Garrus would make it worth it._

_"I'm game," she said. "Though I think adoption is a better idea–biology may not cooperate." _

_"Hmm. I suppose there will be a lot of little Krogan running around soon," Garrus replied. _

_"We just have to beat the Reapers first," Shepard said as her smile faded. _

_She wanted to be hopeful about this future they were talking about, but she'd be lying to herself if she said she believed it would happen. _

_Garrus, as always, noticed her change in mood and began speaking again. _

_"James told me there was an old saying here on Earth: 'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.' Not sure if Turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there, meet me at the bar. I'm buying."_

_"It never failed," Shepard thought. Garrus always knew what to say in times like these. Whenever she was anxious, scared, or feeling hopeless, Garrus was there, and he was able to comfort her in ways no one else could. Now it was her turn to do the same._

_"We're a team Garrus. There's no Shepard without Vakarian. So you better remember to duck."_

_"Sorry, Turians don't know how, but I'll improvise," he said with a small smile._

_Then he turned serious and grabbed her hands. He looked straight into her eyes as they pulled each other closer. _

_"And Shepard, forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you. Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."_

_They pulled each other in for a kiss. It was gentle, but powerful. Shepard poured every emotion she felt in that moment into it: fear, desperation, anger, hope, and most importantly love. Garrus did the same. She held Garrus as close to her as she could._

_"Maybe if they stayed this way, everything would be alright," Shepard thought._

_ But there was a war to be fought, and Shepard realized there was one more thing she needed to say just in case this truly was goodbye. _

_"Goodbye Garrus. And if I'm up there in that bar, and you're not. I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone."_

_Her voice cracked after saying those words. She felt her eyes begin to fill up._

_"No," she thought. This isn't the time for weakness or tears. I have to focus on the battle. She looked at Garrus one more time before walking away. He looked back at her with understanding. They both knew what was at stake, and they both knew they had to stay strong. As she walked away, she heard him reply, "never"._

_Then, the rest of the fight for Earth flashed before her eyes. _

_She was running with Garrus and Liara toward the Conduit. She heard explosions, weapons, and the cries of the wounded and dying as she dodged Harbinger's beam. But one time she wasn't fast enough. She felt the impact of the hit and her armor burning into her skin. The pain was almost unbearable. _

_But she kept moving. She made it to the Citadel. She watched the Illusive Man and Anderson die, and finally, she made it to the catalyst. _

_She remembered each choice flashing through her mind, the consequences of each of them. To her though, it was a clear decision. She walked towards the right and felt the kick of her pistol as she began to shoot. _

_There was an explosion. All she saw was red light everywhere. She reached out to brace herself as she went flying and grabbed onto something with her left hand._

Then her eyes opened. She was in room. It was bright and nearly all of it was grey.

"Shepard," she heard a familiar voice say.

She looked to her left. It was Garrus, and she was holding on to his hand.

"Garrus," she said softly and turned to look at him. "I didn't think I'd ever get to see you again."

"Yeah, I know," he replied seriously. "I really thought I lost you this time Shepard."

"I should've known better," he added with a smile as he ran his hand through her hair.

"Damn right you should have," Shepard joked smiling back.

None of it seemed real. Despite everything, they had both survived. Shepard enjoyed the moment just being with Garrus. It had felt like ages since she'd seen him.

"So where exactly are we Garrus?" she asked.

"We're in a hospital outside of London. They found you in the Citadel remains a week ago, and you've been here ever since," he replied.

As Shepard began to process his answer, more and more memories flooded through her head. She then realized she had so many questions.

"So what happened after the Crucible fired? she asked and began to talk faster. "What happened to the Reapers? Are they gone completely? Where did the Normandy go? How is the crew? Did they all survive?"

Suddenly Garrus heard a loud beeping sound. It was Shepard's heart monitor. Her heart rate was accelerating quickly, too quickly.

"Shepard, calm down. There will be time to talk about this later."

But she didn't want to. She had to know everything that had happened. She'd been unconscious for a week after the most important battle in the galaxy's history. Garrus needed to answer all her questions now.

Then a nurse came in. She had seen Shepard's heart rate and had prepared a sedative.

"Commander, you're heart rate is getting much too high. I'm going to need to give you some medicine. You're in too fragile of state right now to be under so much stress," the nurse said.

"But I have to know what happened!" Shepard said loudly.

She felt herself becoming more frantic. She couldn't stand not knowing what had happened.

"Shepard," Garrus said calmly as he placed his hand on her face. "You need to rest. I promise I'll tell you everything later."

"Please Garrus," Shepard pleaded. "At least tell me if the crew is alright. Were there any casualties?"

Garrus sighed. He didn't want to tell Shepard this right now. She was obviously stressed, but she was looking at him desperately, and he had to be honest with her about it.

"There was only one," he replied. "After the Crucible was fired, EDI went offline. The Geth did too. We're not exactly sure what happened."

Shepard looked at him sadly, but it confused him. He expected her to be surprised at first. No one had seen that casualty coming.

"I know why," she said darkly. "I know why they went offline."

Then the nurse gave Shepard the sedative. She immediately fell asleep, and her heart rate went down.

Garrus was still standing there after the nurse left. He was so happy that Shepard had woken up. She seemed to be alright and would get better after more rest. Her last words had bothered him though.

"How did she know about the Geth and EDI? What had happened up on the Citadel?" he thought.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hi everyone. So I know it's been a super long time since I've updated this story, and I want to apologize for that. School has been crazy that's for sure. I promise to keep posting updates though even if they are spread apart. Anyways, here's the next chapter, and I hope you guys enjoy it. I definitely enjoyed writing it. :D

Chapter 7

The past couple of days had turned into a routine for Shepard, and she couldn't help but feel relieved about it. One of the reasons she had joined the military in the first place was her love for order. It wasn't that she hated mixing things up every once in a while, but she liked getting up at the same time every day and knowing that she had a purpose to fulfill. She supposed this was all because of her experiences on Mindior and Akuze. When something so unexpected and horrible happens, it was nice to cling to something constant. The Alliance gave her that, and after the couple of years she had lived through recently, a routine was the most comforting thing in the galaxy.

So she stepped into it with full force.

She would wake up each day early and begin therapy for her injuries. While her cybernetics and surgery had fixed most of them, she still had significant muscle tearing in her right shoulder and her left leg. Although those both would take time to heal, she wasn't a patient woman. It frustrated her to be handicapped in any way. So, she pushed herself as much as she could.

After therapy in the morning, she would rest. Usually, some of the crew who wasn't busy would come and talk to her. It was so nice to see all of them alive. By now, she had talked to just about everyone on the ship.

Then, she would return to therapy in the afternoon and wouldn't stop until the evening. By then, she was exhausted but satisfied. As long as she was doing everything possible to get better, she was content.

Although there was something that kept bothering her. She was having nightmares constantly. Sometimes she would see the faces of those that had died, Ashley, Mordin, Thane, Legion, The Illusive Man, and Anderson. They haunted her. She would relive their deaths over and over again. Other times, she would experience her entire battle for Earth. That was even worse. She had so much doubt about whether or not she had made the right choice on the Citadel. What if she hadn't? What if the galaxy would've been better off if she had chosen differently? She knew it was too late to change it now, but these thoughts plagued her mind.

She had finished her therapy earlier and was resting in bed when the door opened and interrupted her thoughts. She looked up. It was Admiral Hackett.

"Hey Shepard, damn, it's good to see you in one piece," he said as he walked toward her and sat down.

He looked tired. The Reaper war had certainly aged him. Shepard could tell.

"It's good to see you too sir," she replied.

"Hmm," he said smiling. "You don't have to call me that anymore Shepard. We've been through too much together. Call me Hackett or even Steve if you want to."

Shepard laughed softly.

"Alright Steve...umm…Hackett?" she said awkwardly. "That'll take some getting used to."

They both smiled. He put his hand on her shoulder.

"How are you holding up Shepard? The last time I spoke with you; you were on the Citadel, and it sounded pretty rough up there."

He paused and looked at her seriously.

"After seeing it blow up like that, I thought we had really lost you Shepard."

"Yeah," Shepard replied. "I didn't think I would make it either. It still feels so surreal. I'm thankful to be alive, but I don't feel like I should've made it. It blows my mind."

"I'm sure it does."

They were both silent for a moment.

"How are your injuries?" Hackett asked.

"Many of them have healed up, although the last few are taking their time. My cybernetics and countless hours of surgery fixed most of it, but I still have some bad muscle damage that requires therapy," she said and began to frown. "It's frustrating begin cooped up here while most of galaxy needs help rebuilding"

"There will be time for that when you're well Shepard, don't worry. We've got a lot of work to do."

"How is the relief on Earth coming?"

"It's slow, but we're doing alright. There's just been so much damage to large cities. The Reapers knew that was where most of the population resided, so they took them out first. It took decades to build those cities in the first place, and it'll take at least that much time to repair them."

"Yeah, you're right. The Reapers…they destroyed so much," Shepard said bitterly.

"They did, but the important part is that we defeated them Shepard, and it wouldn't have been possible without you," Hackett said as he stood up. "Which reminds me, I came today because I wanted to see how you were doing, but I do have some Alliance business to attend to while I'm here. I'll be straight with you. Some of it's good, and some of it's bad. Which one do you want to hear first?"

"I guess start with the bad."

"Alright. Well here it goes. As far as we know Shepard, you and Anderson were the only two people who made it to the Citadel during the Battle for Earth. Anderson was killed, so that leaves you as the only survivor who knows what went on up there."

Hackett paused and looked down.

"I hate to ask this of you, but the Alliance is getting a lot pressure from the rest of the galaxy to find out what happened up there. There's a lot of questions that have been left unanswered. I need you to tell me everything. I'm going to make it as easy on you as I can though. No cameras, no extra personnel, just me and you in a room. It'll be a quick debriefing."

Shepard's heart sank. This was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Soon, everyone would know what happened at the Citadel, and she wondered how they would react. Would they agree with her choice or not?

Hackett saw her face fall. "Damn," he thought. He didn't want to make Shepard go through that hell again. She had been through enough for a lifetime.

"Listen Shepard," he began. "I don't know what when on up there, and I'm sure it's something you want to forget, but we've got to know."

Shepard knew Hackett was right. They couldn't just leave that part of the battle a mystery forever, and she was going to have to face her insecurity over it at some point. This was just something she would have to do.

It was quiet for a few moments before she spoke up.

"I know. And I'll tell you everything. But on one condition."

"Alright"

"I want the crew to be there, when I tell you what happened. Both the current and former members. They deserve to know what happened from me personally. They were there. Every step of the way."

"I'll see to it that they're all present. The ones who can't be there in person I'll get on comms. We'll get it done tomorrow."

Shepard nodded. It would be a tough day. She hoped she would be able to keep it together. Then she remembered there was good news too.

"And the good?"

Hackett smiled.

"Shepard, what you did during the war against the Reapers was remarkable. No one else could've brought together an entire galaxy. The Alliance recognizes that, and we want to reward you for it. We came up with a new medal, a medal that only goes to those rare individuals who fight with talent and skill on another level, those who sacrifice everything for the cause, and those who bring hope to people who seem to have lost it all. Shepard, the Alliance wants to give you the David Anderson Memorial Medal. Will you accept it?"

Shepard blinked away the tears that suddenly appeared in her eyes. She missed Anderson, but it was good to know that the Alliance realized the amazing things he had achieved.

"I accept," she said.

"Good. Well, I've got to get going and get the comms. ready for tomorrow," Hackett said as he reached out his hand. "It was really good to see you Shepard. Hang in there."

They shook hands and nodded.

"You too Hackett. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh and Shepard?" Hackett said turning around before he reached the door. "When you get better, drinks are on me."

Hackett smiled and Shepard returned it.

"Wouldn't miss it Steve."

* * *

Later that night, Garrus entered her room. That was another part of her new routine. Garrus had been staying with her in the hospital since she had woken up. It was nice to just be with him again. She looked up and smiled.

"Long day?" she asked.

"Yes. Extremely long. Victus is in over his head right now with all of the reconstruction on Palavan. There's just so much to do, and he doesn't stop reminding me that he needs me there to help him," Garrus replied.

He smiled at her.

"Don't worry though," he added. "I told him I've got something much more important to take care of here on Earth."

Garrus climbed in bed and carefully wrapped his arms around Shepard. Although she would never admit it, her injuries were causing her a lot of pain, and he didn't want to make it any worse.

Shepard snuggled close to Garrus. Being near him was already making her feel better about her conversation with Hackett earlier that day.

"I'm glad you're here," Shepard replied seriously. "You'll have to go back at some point though, and when you do, I'm going with you."

"I wouldn't have it another way Shepard," he said as he turned to look at her face. She was smiling, but her eyes were sad. Something was wrong.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked.

"Hackett came and visited me today. It was really good to see him, but he told me I needed to tell what happened on the Citadel during the battle for Earth. I agreed to do it, but only if the present and past crew from the Normandy could be there to hear it too."

"Oh."

Now it made sense. There had been a couple of times over the past few days where Garrus had tried to bring up that subject with Shepard, and she'd shut him out completely. He eventually stopped asking, but it bothered him. Shepard had always been open with him in the past. Whatever happened up there must have been traumatic. He decided to give it one more try.

"Shepard," he said as he ran his hand through her hair. "What happened up there?"

Shepard sighed. She supposed she could tell Garrus some of it. Maybe it would help if she got it out of her system.

"I had to make a choice Garrus," she began. "A choice that would change the fate of the galaxy forever. When I was in that moment, I was sure that I had made the right decision. But now? I don't know. I'm afraid that when I tell everything that happened up there, people will think that I got it wrong."

Her voice broke on those last words. She couldn't help it. She wished she never had to make that choice; it was too much of a burden to place on one person.

Garrus held her as she buried her face into his shoulder. He realized that was all she was going to say about it now, and he wouldn't ask anymore. This was something far more upsetting than he'd realized. When she looked up, he put his hand on her face.

"Shepard, you were our leader. I think I can speak for the entire crew when I say that we always respected your orders and decisions," he said seriously. "Even when they took us to hell and back."

Shepard regained her composure and began to wipe the tears away.

"Yeah, that did happen quite a lot," she said.

"But the thing is Shepard," he added and looking straight into her eyes. "We always made it back. And that's thanks to you."

She smiled and shook her head.

"How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?" she asked.

"I don't know. I just say what I'm thinking and hope it works." Garrus said.

Shepard raised her eyebrow at him and began to laugh.

"Wait, damn. That sounded bad." Garrus said.

"I guess it doesn't always work, huh?" Shepard replied still laughing.

She then placed a kiss on his cheek where his fading scars were.

"I love you Garrus."

He turned her face forward and answered with another kiss.

"I love you too Shepard."


End file.
